Tylenol Induced 

Maybe it was the headache that I woke up with, the one that didn’t go away after too many Tylenol. 
Tylenol. 
It’s a love hate relationship; it makes me feel better but it killed my mom. Did you know that? The tipping point for her death was the copious amounts of Tylenol she meticulously took for weeks. It destroyed her liver. The doctors estimate a bottle of 500 every two days for 10 days. Add the plethora of meds my sister needed; ADHD pills, pills for her appetite, pills for her Cerebral Palsy… and don’t forget the pills my mom was prescribed for her variety of mental illness. Plus the everyday concoctions found in a home with children; cough syrup, Advil, allergy pills, an inhaler, more Tylenol… it was a mess. But that’s not this story; not all of it at least. 
Maybe it was the slowness of the day; keeping my mind from focusing on the here and now. As my day got slower, my mind got busier and my being got heavier. So heavy that by 5pm I’m exhausted. My eyes burn, my body aches, my mouth is dry and my head is still pounding. 
Maybe it’s this show on Netflix I’ve been binge watching for hours on end. 13 Reasons Why. It’s about a girl who kills herself and leaves 13 tapes for 13 people, explaining how they had a part in her death. It makes me wonder if there were reasons my mom never told me, never told anyone. Small, seemingly insignificant reasons that added up and were too much. I wonder if I was one of them. 

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