I have forgotten my medication for the last few days. It happens when I’m happy; wrapped in a cocoon of contentment and peace. It’s part of why SSRIs are so hard for people to be consist with, they trick you into thinking you’re ok, better. Today, my chest feels heavy and my heart has the slightest flutter that keeps me on edge. My mind feels empty and busy all at once; small sounds seem louder than normal. The opening of a door, the quiet chatter of my office. Just having to speak to another person seems like too much to my senses. I try to work quickly on a long report that is due this week, I focus so hard and the fluttering of my heart feels like panic and impatience. Even silence feels like too much; it rings in my ears and leaves room for thoughts of wrongness and worry.